there are far more bad movies than there are ways i can think of to say they are bad. this is particularly true when the badness is itself not very good. the badness itself does not even have the common courtesy to be bad enough to say anything about.
therefore, i outsourced this review to a mysterious and shadowy correspondant known only as "the cheerleader," who had this to say:
Extracted is the movie Inception would have been if it had been made as a bad movie. I was told that my time spent sitting around and waiting to be picked up for dinner was better spent sitting around and waiting to be picked up for dinner rather than watching this movie.
I think this movie does a have a few praises that deserve singing. It managed to hit that sweet middle-ground "bad" that's worse than not-so-bad, but not as bad as super bad. Since it was the movie of the night, Extracted made its way into the after dinner conversation quite frequently. The increased frequency with which it entered the conversation was facilitated by 1) the short period of time over which the movie was discussed during each incident of discussion, and 2) the high rate at which the focus of the conversation would change to movies that were either better, worse, or better because they were worse. Extracted is a good topic to start a conversation with if you do not want the conversation to be about the topic you started with.
If you become bored with whatever it is you are doing, say, cleaning the bathroom floor, or watching paint dry, I would suggest watching Extraction. My data suggests you will appreciate the beige tiling and/or the shiny, mustard yellow overcoat much more after watching this 2012 example of how not to use special effects.
eerily accurate, for someone who did not actually watch the movie.
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