http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1034032/
like crank, but with marilyn manson soundtrack.
2010-02-28
2010-02-21
avatar
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0499549/
let me say right off that i did not see avatar, nor am i going to. so stop asking me to write a review of it. i read the screenplay a few years ago and found it to be a standard-issue underdog action flick with extra syrupy feel-goodness slathered on top. the most positive thing i have heard about it was that it was fun to look at, like a tropical fish tank. i cannot imagine being entertained by a tropical fish tank for three hours. the fish tank clocks in at five minutes, tops. you could make it six minutes by adding a big turtle, or a bunch of small ones.
there is a lot i could say about the length of movies, but it really all boils down to that if i am going to see it in the theater, it has to be short enough that my bladder does not explode. i like to stay hydrated, i do not like to stumble around in the dark and miss five minutes in the middle of the show. sure, i could miss less if i chose not to wash my hands, but that would be disgusting. ditto for the idea about peeing on the plants in the lobby instead of going all the way to the restroom. and the idea about using a catheter. using an empty water bottle is right out. anyway, the point is that avatar is too long.
let me say right off that i did not see avatar, nor am i going to. so stop asking me to write a review of it. i read the screenplay a few years ago and found it to be a standard-issue underdog action flick with extra syrupy feel-goodness slathered on top. the most positive thing i have heard about it was that it was fun to look at, like a tropical fish tank. i cannot imagine being entertained by a tropical fish tank for three hours. the fish tank clocks in at five minutes, tops. you could make it six minutes by adding a big turtle, or a bunch of small ones.
there is a lot i could say about the length of movies, but it really all boils down to that if i am going to see it in the theater, it has to be short enough that my bladder does not explode. i like to stay hydrated, i do not like to stumble around in the dark and miss five minutes in the middle of the show. sure, i could miss less if i chose not to wash my hands, but that would be disgusting. ditto for the idea about peeing on the plants in the lobby instead of going all the way to the restroom. and the idea about using a catheter. using an empty water bottle is right out. anyway, the point is that avatar is too long.
timecrimes
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0480669/
it is hard to explain why i liked this one without giving away critical details, so i will just summarize by saying that this is a well-constructed time-travel movie. i really really want to say additional things about it, but i feel certain that if i did, i would be force to travel back in time to undo that decision.
i can do that, you know. travel back in time. because i am the great and powerful schmolli.
it is hard to explain why i liked this one without giving away critical details, so i will just summarize by saying that this is a well-constructed time-travel movie. i really really want to say additional things about it, but i feel certain that if i did, i would be force to travel back in time to undo that decision.
i can do that, you know. travel back in time. because i am the great and powerful schmolli.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)