http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2132285
the bling ring was painful to watch along multiple dimensions. i am not going into it here, you can figure it out for yourself.
when i am writing about a movie, it is easiest to write when the movie is very good or very bad. extreme in some direction. the bling ring was just bad. so i cannot even get a memorable review out of it. what can i say? "it was bad." i cannot even really get in any good digs, like calling it a pile of garbage. this is exactly the kind of mediocrity that is destroying our way of life.
the bling ring gets one bling. be cool, kids, stay in school. until you graduate. then get out.
2013-10-26
2013-10-25
disconnect
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1433811
my main complaint about disconnect is that the person who named it clearly did not read the script, watch the filming, or talk to anybody involved in the production. i say that because disconnect is a movie that is clearly about connections.
disconnect gets two connections. it would get three, except for that i am extremely un-tertained by teenage angst.
my main complaint about disconnect is that the person who named it clearly did not read the script, watch the filming, or talk to anybody involved in the production. i say that because disconnect is a movie that is clearly about connections.
disconnect gets two connections. it would get three, except for that i am extremely un-tertained by teenage angst.
2013-10-22
movie 43
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1333125
movie 43 is a film whose time has clearly come. the specific time i am referring to is, of course, the end of times.
it has been said that the moviegoing public does not get the experience they wish for, but rather, the one they deserve. movie 43 disproves that statement by virtue of the fact that the moviegoing public would have to be made up completely of serial paedophile necromorph nazi power rangers in order to deserve an atrocity like this.
let me put it another way. suppose you were strapped down to a table while a serial paedophile necromorph nazi power ranger used a pair of pliers to pull out your hairs, fingernails, etc one-by-one, demanding that you laugh uncontrollably the entire time. suppose that he filmed the whole thing from multiple angles. suppose that he edited the resulting film, added a laugh track, and marketed it as a feature film. suppose he called it "movie 43." you might be asking yourself whether this actually happened. the answer is "maybe."
movie 43 gets one fart joke. YOYO!
movie 43 is a film whose time has clearly come. the specific time i am referring to is, of course, the end of times.
it has been said that the moviegoing public does not get the experience they wish for, but rather, the one they deserve. movie 43 disproves that statement by virtue of the fact that the moviegoing public would have to be made up completely of serial paedophile necromorph nazi power rangers in order to deserve an atrocity like this.
let me put it another way. suppose you were strapped down to a table while a serial paedophile necromorph nazi power ranger used a pair of pliers to pull out your hairs, fingernails, etc one-by-one, demanding that you laugh uncontrollably the entire time. suppose that he filmed the whole thing from multiple angles. suppose that he edited the resulting film, added a laugh track, and marketed it as a feature film. suppose he called it "movie 43." you might be asking yourself whether this actually happened. the answer is "maybe."
movie 43 gets one fart joke. YOYO!
2013-10-11
flight
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1907668
flight was great. i may have a teeny, tiny crush on THE DENZEL. just a very small one. FOR THE GREATEST ACTOR WHO HAS EVER LIVED. almost as cool as THE ROCK.
flight was also tragic. i am not sure what would happen if dwayne johnson tried to portray an alcoholic. werenazis, probably.
flight gets four inverted immelmanns.
flight was great. i may have a teeny, tiny crush on THE DENZEL. just a very small one. FOR THE GREATEST ACTOR WHO HAS EVER LIVED. almost as cool as THE ROCK.
flight was also tragic. i am not sure what would happen if dwayne johnson tried to portray an alcoholic. werenazis, probably.
flight gets four inverted immelmanns.
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