2012-09-24
2012-09-20
the cabin in the woods
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1259521/
the cabin in the woods is a horror movie, but it is not the horror movie you think it is when you first start watching it. this is made somewhat obvious by the opening moments, so i guess i am not giving a whole lot away here. there was little enough gore that i could bear to watch it, anyway. the dialogue and plot were classic whedon, which is another way of saying it is at least worth watching.
the most interesting part of the film is how the trailer ties into it. if joss whedon were not involved, i would just assume that the people who made the trailers did so without regard for what they were giving away, but since whedon is in the mix, i have to wonder whether he did it on purpose, to further heighten the audience's sense of knowing what is going to happen...when in fact, the audience does *not* know what is going to happen, because, as mentioned earlier, the horror movie you think it is is not the horror movie it actually is. i did not really spend too much time thinking about that because i am too pretty to have deep thoughts, but i am sure there is a thesis in there somewhere.
i give cabin in the woods four mermen.
the cabin in the woods is a horror movie, but it is not the horror movie you think it is when you first start watching it. this is made somewhat obvious by the opening moments, so i guess i am not giving a whole lot away here. there was little enough gore that i could bear to watch it, anyway. the dialogue and plot were classic whedon, which is another way of saying it is at least worth watching.
the most interesting part of the film is how the trailer ties into it. if joss whedon were not involved, i would just assume that the people who made the trailers did so without regard for what they were giving away, but since whedon is in the mix, i have to wonder whether he did it on purpose, to further heighten the audience's sense of knowing what is going to happen...when in fact, the audience does *not* know what is going to happen, because, as mentioned earlier, the horror movie you think it is is not the horror movie it actually is. i did not really spend too much time thinking about that because i am too pretty to have deep thoughts, but i am sure there is a thesis in there somewhere.
i give cabin in the woods four mermen.
2012-09-09
it's complicated
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1230414/
it's complicated is a film about regrets. you might ask whether i regret watching it. well. it's complicated.
i give it two chocolate croissants.
it's complicated is a film about regrets. you might ask whether i regret watching it. well. it's complicated.
i give it two chocolate croissants.
2012-09-03
the expendables 2
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1764651/
given that the 80s happened, there are basically two ways to make an 80s action movie in the year 2012. the first way is to make a standard 80s action movie, but with different actors, updated special effects, and in 3d or whatever. the second way is to do all of that, but with a bunch of winking and self-referential lines. the first expendables movie did it mostly the first way; the second expendables movie did it mostly the second way. having seen both, i humbly submit to you that the first way is better. the remainder of my comments are best presented in bullet point format:
given that the 80s happened, there are basically two ways to make an 80s action movie in the year 2012. the first way is to make a standard 80s action movie, but with different actors, updated special effects, and in 3d or whatever. the second way is to do all of that, but with a bunch of winking and self-referential lines. the first expendables movie did it mostly the first way; the second expendables movie did it mostly the second way. having seen both, i humbly submit to you that the first way is better. the remainder of my comments are best presented in bullet point format:
- -1, not enough terry crews
- -1, too much dolph lundgren
- -1 *way* too much schwarzenegger dialogue
- +1 for getting what is surely a chuck norris fact into the film.
- scott adkins was wasted on this movie. the man is a masterpiece who needs to be given free rein to bounce around the scenery as he wills, not cooped up into a simple bad guy role with a single fight scene.
the expendables 2 gets 2 expendables, primarily for the lines that were good and for delivering on the promise of explosions.
the bourne legacy
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1194173/
i was expecting the bourne legacy to suck balls, and so it was a pleasant surprise to find that i rather enjoyed it. against all odds, edward norton refrained from being godawful, and jeremy renner, who had thus far escaped my wrathful eye, actually did a fine job of being a super agent. with that said, this film did not add anything that we have not already seen, other than advancing the jason bourne storyline a bit more.
i am starting to be concerned that they may not produce a crappy bourne movie that we can all agree is the worst one. this is an important point. people come together around a film or set of films because of the goodness, but they unite because of the badness. you need something to fill in the gaps in the conversation and the "yeah, but..." moments. in a movie series, that is usually the second or third one, though there are exceptions, such as the fast and furious series, where it was the second *and* third one, and the underworld series, where it was every movie *starting* with the second one. if you put it too late in the series, you run the risk of making the fans violently angry at the sudden, though admittedly inevitable, betrayal. the exception to this "violently angry" rule is the case where a series starts good and then follows an easily observable trajectory in the downward direction.
anywho, the bourne legacy gets three blue pills.
i was expecting the bourne legacy to suck balls, and so it was a pleasant surprise to find that i rather enjoyed it. against all odds, edward norton refrained from being godawful, and jeremy renner, who had thus far escaped my wrathful eye, actually did a fine job of being a super agent. with that said, this film did not add anything that we have not already seen, other than advancing the jason bourne storyline a bit more.
i am starting to be concerned that they may not produce a crappy bourne movie that we can all agree is the worst one. this is an important point. people come together around a film or set of films because of the goodness, but they unite because of the badness. you need something to fill in the gaps in the conversation and the "yeah, but..." moments. in a movie series, that is usually the second or third one, though there are exceptions, such as the fast and furious series, where it was the second *and* third one, and the underworld series, where it was every movie *starting* with the second one. if you put it too late in the series, you run the risk of making the fans violently angry at the sudden, though admittedly inevitable, betrayal. the exception to this "violently angry" rule is the case where a series starts good and then follows an easily observable trajectory in the downward direction.
anywho, the bourne legacy gets three blue pills.
2012-09-01
legend of the red dragon
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110054/
legend of the red dragon is a fine piece of slapstick wherein jet li tells his son to kill with no mercy and other similar gems in the course of rearing him to be an upstanding young man. this film had it all. mother/daughter hustlers, shaolin kids, fake ghosts, an invincible man, a pit of boiling acid, and a transvestite monk. what else can you even put in a movie? jackie chan? actually, that would have been pretty cool.
legend of the red dragon gets three steel spears.
legend of the red dragon is a fine piece of slapstick wherein jet li tells his son to kill with no mercy and other similar gems in the course of rearing him to be an upstanding young man. this film had it all. mother/daughter hustlers, shaolin kids, fake ghosts, an invincible man, a pit of boiling acid, and a transvestite monk. what else can you even put in a movie? jackie chan? actually, that would have been pretty cool.
legend of the red dragon gets three steel spears.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)