http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1392214
prisoners is low grade torture porn. i was blindsided by the severity, having let myself be lulled by the cast listing, none of whom seemed the type to participate in a film which included maiming a mentally handicapped guy for days. i liked jake gyllenhaal's character, though.
prisoners gets two snakes.
2013-11-25
2013-11-24
the host
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1517260
shortly before i was subjected to a viewing of the host, i saw ender's game and was sure that i had seen the worst that 2013 would have to offer. hoo boy. it all became clear when i learned that the host was based on a book written by the same person who wrote twilight.
you know what i am talking about. longing glances, piercing gazes, insipid dialogue. did somebody say LOVE QUADRANGLE? it was all very painful to experience, and i could only do it by breaking this two hour avalanche of atrocity into three separate viewings, one for each century it took to watch.
the host gets one wanderer whose back story is highly suspicious and does not make a whole lot of sense and who did not get to drive a lotus even once SADFACE.
shortly before i was subjected to a viewing of the host, i saw ender's game and was sure that i had seen the worst that 2013 would have to offer. hoo boy. it all became clear when i learned that the host was based on a book written by the same person who wrote twilight.
you know what i am talking about. longing glances, piercing gazes, insipid dialogue. did somebody say LOVE QUADRANGLE? it was all very painful to experience, and i could only do it by breaking this two hour avalanche of atrocity into three separate viewings, one for each century it took to watch.
the host gets one wanderer whose back story is highly suspicious and does not make a whole lot of sense and who did not get to drive a lotus even once SADFACE.
2013-11-08
ender's game
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1731141
i have heard that a lot of people are calling for a boycot of ender's game. i can only assume they are the ones who have seen it. this film whipsawed violently back and forth between attempts to stay faithful to the book and attempts to make a successful movie adaptation of the book. the resulting cringefest was not a success in either endeavor. speaking of cringefest, what is going on with harrison ford's career? i mean, i am sure he is making a lot of money, but...eesh.
back to ender's game. many things bothered me, far too many to try to convey here. let me give you a taste of my angst by discussing the bewildering display of WUT which might otherwise be described as "the main plotline." so the bugs came once before, like 50 years ago, and almost wiped out humanity. fine, ok. colonization did not succeed. but then they sit tight and wait for 50 years for the humans to come attack them at home? when does that start making sense? and how does the queen identify her future destroyer while he is still so far from being in the admiral's seat? was she spamming everybody who was a candidate for admiral? how could that possibly have escaped detection? and having identified ender, how did she hack the gibson to make it show him where her babby was planted? and why would you show your pupa-babby to THE PERSON WHO IS GOING TO DESTROY YOUR ENTIRE SPECIES???!!???question mark
that is a lot of questions, and i guess i got a little carried away there. let me summarize with two final questions: what is this haberdashery? and why did i use a completely inappropriate word just now? this is the logic of ender's game.
all of those issues make sense if you have read the book, by the way, but if you want to use the book to fill in the gaps, you end up with a whole other set of problems, for example, a beloved story being gang raped for two hours on the big screen in front of you.
ender's game gets one bugger. if you have seen the book, you should not, under any circumstances, read the movie.
i have heard that a lot of people are calling for a boycot of ender's game. i can only assume they are the ones who have seen it. this film whipsawed violently back and forth between attempts to stay faithful to the book and attempts to make a successful movie adaptation of the book. the resulting cringefest was not a success in either endeavor. speaking of cringefest, what is going on with harrison ford's career? i mean, i am sure he is making a lot of money, but...eesh.
back to ender's game. many things bothered me, far too many to try to convey here. let me give you a taste of my angst by discussing the bewildering display of WUT which might otherwise be described as "the main plotline." so the bugs came once before, like 50 years ago, and almost wiped out humanity. fine, ok. colonization did not succeed. but then they sit tight and wait for 50 years for the humans to come attack them at home? when does that start making sense? and how does the queen identify her future destroyer while he is still so far from being in the admiral's seat? was she spamming everybody who was a candidate for admiral? how could that possibly have escaped detection? and having identified ender, how did she hack the gibson to make it show him where her babby was planted? and why would you show your pupa-babby to THE PERSON WHO IS GOING TO DESTROY YOUR ENTIRE SPECIES???!!???question mark
that is a lot of questions, and i guess i got a little carried away there. let me summarize with two final questions: what is this haberdashery? and why did i use a completely inappropriate word just now? this is the logic of ender's game.
all of those issues make sense if you have read the book, by the way, but if you want to use the book to fill in the gaps, you end up with a whole other set of problems, for example, a beloved story being gang raped for two hours on the big screen in front of you.
ender's game gets one bugger. if you have seen the book, you should not, under any circumstances, read the movie.
2013-11-07
kumare
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1865425
kumare reminded me too much of pick-a-michael-moore film. i *think* the vibe he was going for was that he started off wanting to make fools of people who follow gurus only to discover that he had accidentally taken on a huge responsibility. i did not see any discussion of what the responsible action to take is when he had no idea what he was doing as a guru. nor did i see any followup about all the bogus techniques he taught people during the phase where he was trying to make them look stupid. kind of irresponsible, if you ask me. anyway, my point is that these persuasive documentaries bug the shit out of me and i would love it if everybody stopped making them.
kumare also completely misses the role of the guru with regard to serious training. sure, for half-assed training, you do not need a guru. any idiot can decide to take the advice that family and friends have probably been giving them for years. oh, but wait, they cannot. that is the problem, that is why a guru is useful.
kumare gets one orbital sander to the head.
kumare reminded me too much of pick-a-michael-moore film. i *think* the vibe he was going for was that he started off wanting to make fools of people who follow gurus only to discover that he had accidentally taken on a huge responsibility. i did not see any discussion of what the responsible action to take is when he had no idea what he was doing as a guru. nor did i see any followup about all the bogus techniques he taught people during the phase where he was trying to make them look stupid. kind of irresponsible, if you ask me. anyway, my point is that these persuasive documentaries bug the shit out of me and i would love it if everybody stopped making them.
kumare also completely misses the role of the guru with regard to serious training. sure, for half-assed training, you do not need a guru. any idiot can decide to take the advice that family and friends have probably been giving them for years. oh, but wait, they cannot. that is the problem, that is why a guru is useful.
kumare gets one orbital sander to the head.
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