http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2923316
there were many opportunities for american heist to be better than it was. it turned away from almost all of them. the only thing that seemed at all good was that all the actors really put their guts into their parts. however, the result was not good because the parts did not call for that much enthusiasm.
american heist gets one fancy-pants tattoo.
2015-06-17
avengers: age of ultron
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2395427
i am not sure what you want me to say about age of ultron. it hits most of my joy buttons, though it regretfully did *not* have any dragons or zombies. something for joss whedon and marvel studios to shoot for in future films, i guess.
i think other people said this, but it was a little ridiculous that ultron was on the internet, and the only thing it could think to do was to go after nuclear launch codes? it could have trolled every comments page in the world, for example. or taken over various news sites and posted utter rubbish. or caused stock markets to fluctuate wildly for no good reason. oh wait, we already have those things. but at least ultron could have automated it.
age of ultron gets four visions. i am giving it a little boost because i cannot imagine a world in which i did not go to see this movie.
i am not sure what you want me to say about age of ultron. it hits most of my joy buttons, though it regretfully did *not* have any dragons or zombies. something for joss whedon and marvel studios to shoot for in future films, i guess.
i think other people said this, but it was a little ridiculous that ultron was on the internet, and the only thing it could think to do was to go after nuclear launch codes? it could have trolled every comments page in the world, for example. or taken over various news sites and posted utter rubbish. or caused stock markets to fluctuate wildly for no good reason. oh wait, we already have those things. but at least ultron could have automated it.
age of ultron gets four visions. i am giving it a little boost because i cannot imagine a world in which i did not go to see this movie.
2015-06-16
the drop
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1600196
sometimes i feel like i have seen too many movies. or not enough movies. here is what i mean. the drop *almost* fit a whole bunch of familiar plot lines closely enough that i kept thinking i understood what was going on. but then it would turn out to be completely wrong and it would look like a different familiar plot line. after a few of those, you start to wonder whether it was on purpose. however, film did not seem pretentious enough for that to be the goal. i am pretty sure that it was just a lack of coherency. all i know for sure is, you work hard, you keep your nose clean, maybe the cops do not come for you in the middle of the night.
the drop gets two adorable pit bulls.
sometimes i feel like i have seen too many movies. or not enough movies. here is what i mean. the drop *almost* fit a whole bunch of familiar plot lines closely enough that i kept thinking i understood what was going on. but then it would turn out to be completely wrong and it would look like a different familiar plot line. after a few of those, you start to wonder whether it was on purpose. however, film did not seem pretentious enough for that to be the goal. i am pretty sure that it was just a lack of coherency. all i know for sure is, you work hard, you keep your nose clean, maybe the cops do not come for you in the middle of the night.
the drop gets two adorable pit bulls.
2015-06-09
a good marriage
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2180994
a good marriage was a fine film in its own right, but for some reason, all i want to do is to compare it to other works that have something in common with it.
like how about mr brooks? the most amazing thing about mr brooks is that it made me appreciate kevin costner as an actor. well, that and dane cook getting killed with a shovel. boy, i could watch that part over and over.
or how about mulholland drive? mulholland drive was like 70% dream sequence, while a good marriage turned out to be about 2% dream sequence, so the comparison is perhaps not apt. however, while mulholland drive was at first glance 0% dream, a good marriage could quite plausibly have been almost completely a dream. i am pretty sure that they put a little dream sequence near the beginning to insert that ambiguity, and it most definitely worked on me. if the whole movie had turned out to be a dream, i would not have been surprised. angry, perhaps, but not surprised. anyway, the point is that the suspense came from that uncertainty. was it really him, did he know she knew, etc.
then, of course, there is gi joe. i like comparing things to gi joe because it invariably makes the thing being compared look really, really, really, ridiculously good. crazy good. by that standard, a good marriage is about a 20 star movie.
a good marriage gets three bloody thumbprints in a slow motion exploding dream sequence.
a good marriage was a fine film in its own right, but for some reason, all i want to do is to compare it to other works that have something in common with it.
like how about mr brooks? the most amazing thing about mr brooks is that it made me appreciate kevin costner as an actor. well, that and dane cook getting killed with a shovel. boy, i could watch that part over and over.
or how about mulholland drive? mulholland drive was like 70% dream sequence, while a good marriage turned out to be about 2% dream sequence, so the comparison is perhaps not apt. however, while mulholland drive was at first glance 0% dream, a good marriage could quite plausibly have been almost completely a dream. i am pretty sure that they put a little dream sequence near the beginning to insert that ambiguity, and it most definitely worked on me. if the whole movie had turned out to be a dream, i would not have been surprised. angry, perhaps, but not surprised. anyway, the point is that the suspense came from that uncertainty. was it really him, did he know she knew, etc.
then, of course, there is gi joe. i like comparing things to gi joe because it invariably makes the thing being compared look really, really, really, ridiculously good. crazy good. by that standard, a good marriage is about a 20 star movie.
a good marriage gets three bloody thumbprints in a slow motion exploding dream sequence.
2015-06-06
spawn
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120177
i saw spawn way back when it first came out, and i remembered thinking it was horrible. but then a so-called friend of mine reminded me that michael jai white was in it, so i thought i would give it a second shot. man oh man was that the biggest mistake ever.
the only reason to not start with the terrible writing, acting, plot, and special effects is that it would prevent me from starting with the horrible everything else. even the cliches were the worst thing that could possibly exist, and you would think that you would be inured to bad cliches. the worst part is that it is because of shitty movies like this that nobody took superhero movies seriously for forever. actually, i am not sure i can select just one worst part because there are so many to choose from.
spawn gets one set of magic armour. oh dear god will you please learn to use the magic armour already.
i saw spawn way back when it first came out, and i remembered thinking it was horrible. but then a so-called friend of mine reminded me that michael jai white was in it, so i thought i would give it a second shot. man oh man was that the biggest mistake ever.
the only reason to not start with the terrible writing, acting, plot, and special effects is that it would prevent me from starting with the horrible everything else. even the cliches were the worst thing that could possibly exist, and you would think that you would be inured to bad cliches. the worst part is that it is because of shitty movies like this that nobody took superhero movies seriously for forever. actually, i am not sure i can select just one worst part because there are so many to choose from.
spawn gets one set of magic armour. oh dear god will you please learn to use the magic armour already.
2015-06-05
john wick
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2911666
john wick is a masterpiece of sound and cinematography. keanu reeves is the ultimate killing machine, and the fight choreography is only surpassed by the intense psychological pain that reeves transmits through his mastery of the art of acting. i was particularly taken by the intricate symbolism embedded in this beautifully woven tale of misfortune and revenge. as if that were not enough, the plot's suspense gripped tightly and did not let go until well after the climax had thundered past.
just kidding, it was crap.
john wick gets two bullets in the head. one for all the ground work and one because he was very good about confirming his kills.
john wick is a masterpiece of sound and cinematography. keanu reeves is the ultimate killing machine, and the fight choreography is only surpassed by the intense psychological pain that reeves transmits through his mastery of the art of acting. i was particularly taken by the intricate symbolism embedded in this beautifully woven tale of misfortune and revenge. as if that were not enough, the plot's suspense gripped tightly and did not let go until well after the climax had thundered past.
just kidding, it was crap.
john wick gets two bullets in the head. one for all the ground work and one because he was very good about confirming his kills.
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