kill 'em all

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1928335

kill 'em all is just about the worst martial arts movie ever made.  it is part saw, part battle royale, part buddy cop movie, part the tournament,  part cube, part eden log, and part portal.  the first hour of it was, anyway.  i stopped trying to keep track after a while.

there was very little to like about this movie.  the fighting was lame and relied primarily on the acrobatics of a few of the actors.  the scenery was clearly an abandoned building or something that they were squatting in.  the extras all wore masks so you could not tell it was the same 10 guys over and over.  the characters were paper thin.  there was so little substance to this movie that after the bad guy got deaded, they quite literally rolled credits immediately.  because there was absolutely nothing else to do.

it did raise an interesting question, however.  suppose you were knocked out, and when you woke up, you were trapped in a room--without your smartphone--and forced to battle to the death with the other people in the room.  would you favor submission techniques, spend half your energy on yelling, and give your opponents plenty of time to stand back up and gather their wits after you knock them down?  well.  maybe you would go into it having that plan, but i bet you would either change your plan during the first fight or not win.

kill 'em all gets one assassin.  not a very good assassin.  more like a guy who claimed he could do the job for twelve thousand dollars, except actually, he had never killed anybody before and he not only bungled it completely, but then he led the police straight to you when they caught him.