against the dark

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1194271/

against the dark opens with a lame voiceover that lays out the exposition and then goes downhill from there.  why was steven seagal even in this?  he delivers a couple epic lines at wildly inappropriate times and hacks at some zompires.  they could have filled this role with just about anybody.  carrot top?  sure, why not.  i am confident that carrot top could play a paper-thin character at least as well as steven seagal.

the other--well, *one* other--thing that bothered me was that the female characters did not do anything other than walk around and wait until it was time to die/scream/escape.  i would be writing an indignant treatise on the subject of objectification right now, except that they objectified every single character in the script, including steven seagal, which makes me think it is less a matter of objectification and more a matter of crappy writing.  also, when did they find the time to do their hair?  take a tip from your pal schmolli: when the apocalypse comes, you are going to want to do something with your hair that is easy to maintain and does not impede your combat capabilities.  bald is beautiful, baby.  you need to cover your noggin, get a hat.

against the dark gets one wasted hour of my life.  literally!  i applied the skip-forward button to the benefit of all.