knockout

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1691453/

did you know that stone cold steve austin starred in a karate kid ripoff?  which character do you think he played?  it turns out, stone cold steve austin is the biggest mr miyagi this world has ever seen.  except he was a wise janitor instead of a handyman.  and the coach of the antagonist was his son instead of some guy he had never heard of. and the protagonist's love interest was not the antagonist's love interest.  and it was boxing instead of karate.  the whole mess was so much worse than karate kid.  although, thinking back on how bad karate kid was, it was actually not much worse.

let me tell you what i learned about boxing from watching this movie.

the first thing is to punch the other guy in the face when he is not expecting it, like after they ring the bell or yell "stop."  this makes sense to me.  nothing bad ever happens to you when you are ready for it, but as soon as you let down your guard, POW.

another good idea i learned about is to isolate your opponent from their support network or from any impartial bystanders who might try to impose "fairness."  fairness is for losers.  winners hit hard, fast, and first.  and repeatedly.

finally, the main thing i learned about boxing is that i do not want to do it. i am far too pretty to risk being punched in the face, especially if it is hard, fast, first, repeatedly, and when i am not expecting it.

knockout gets one jab to the face.  stone cold steve austin garners two additional jabs to the face, purely for putting his guts into his role.  not because his fists are as big as my head.