damage and recoil

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1314177/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1839591/

did you know that stone cold steve austin is in the movies?  quite a few of them, actually.  as far as i can tell, they are basically all john wayne movies.  the main difference is that john wayne always played a man's man, while stone cold steve austin plays a gigantic man mountain with massive meat hooks of steel and a heart of gold.

let us be honest.  these are not masterpieces by any stretch of the imagination.  you are sure to find yourself completely unsurprised, unsympathetic, unenthusiastic, and unimpressed with anything you see in one of these.  these are the kind of films you show to children to deaden them to the world and turn them into serial killers.  but who cares?  if you love america, apple pie, or your mother, then you should understand that it is your *duty* to watch stone cold steve austin wade through a few double handfuls of bad guys on his way to the denouement.  this is not a human law.  it is a natural law.  from science.

i give both damage and recoil the same score, which is two slices of apple pie.  (sorry, mom.)