http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1272878
denzel and mark wahlberg are pretty watchable by themselves, but when you put them together, they are just sort of watchable. kind of like duct tape. there is a light side and a dark side and in the middle a bunch of stringy bits arrayed in a grid that give the light side and dark side some structure.
two guns should have been more entertaining than it was. the twists and betrayals were pretty well telegraphed, and ultimately it was only about 43 million dollars. what was the big deal? was it really worth burning all those resources for only 43 million dollars? well maybe. 43 million is kind of a lot of money. between you and me, i would probably not have killed quite so many people for only 43 million, though.
two guns gets two guns.
2014-07-13
cheap thrills
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2389182
well, they got the "cheap" part right. phew. "what would you do for $X?" is not really a new question, nor was any other part of this movie.
cheap thrills gets one dog choking on a severed finger. i hope that is spoiler enough to dissuade you from sitting through this crap.
well, they got the "cheap" part right. phew. "what would you do for $X?" is not really a new question, nor was any other part of this movie.
cheap thrills gets one dog choking on a severed finger. i hope that is spoiler enough to dissuade you from sitting through this crap.
odd thomas
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1767354
odd thomas would have been a fine b-movie, and maybe that is what it is, at these days' rates. i tend to think that if you spend 27 million on a movie, you should get a bit more out of it than this. the effects were fine, the story was also basically fine, and all the actors seemed to be putting their best foot forward. the script was painfully sloppy, though. i mean, seriously. written by a 14 year old, perhaps? or maybe written *for* a 14 year old. i recently saw frozen and was shocked at how terrible children's movies are. perhaps the fault is in my stars. OR LACK THEREOF.
odd thomas gets two startling contrasts between the quality of its various aspects.
odd thomas would have been a fine b-movie, and maybe that is what it is, at these days' rates. i tend to think that if you spend 27 million on a movie, you should get a bit more out of it than this. the effects were fine, the story was also basically fine, and all the actors seemed to be putting their best foot forward. the script was painfully sloppy, though. i mean, seriously. written by a 14 year old, perhaps? or maybe written *for* a 14 year old. i recently saw frozen and was shocked at how terrible children's movies are. perhaps the fault is in my stars. OR LACK THEREOF.
odd thomas gets two startling contrasts between the quality of its various aspects.
2014-06-27
rollerball
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0246894
what do i want to say about rollerball. not a whole lot.
rollerball gets one number tattooed on its face.
what do i want to say about rollerball. not a whole lot.
rollerball gets one number tattooed on its face.
escape plan
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1211956
the ideal 80s action movie is a three-star movie. there is a kind of juxtaposition of three-star quality and perfection when it comes to hitting that mark exactly on the head. it really calls your whole worldview into question when you ask yourself whether you should give a movie three stars because it is a three star movie, or if you should give it five stars because it is a three-star movie that is a three star movie. this is why i do not give out stars when i do movie ratings.
escape plan is another non-80s 80s movie that is made up of many of the cliches you know and love. key guy in criminal organization is secretly head of the organization. uncrackable prison is actually crackable. hero has devoted life to making prisons safe because an unsafe prison killed his family. prisoners overcome diversity by banding together against the man. you can make a sextant out of an ink pen, spectacles, and stiff paper. friends are enemies and enemies are friends. sadistic prison guard is sadistic. war is freedom and freedom is justice. it is all there.
escape plan gets three five-star ratings.
the ideal 80s action movie is a three-star movie. there is a kind of juxtaposition of three-star quality and perfection when it comes to hitting that mark exactly on the head. it really calls your whole worldview into question when you ask yourself whether you should give a movie three stars because it is a three star movie, or if you should give it five stars because it is a three-star movie that is a three star movie. this is why i do not give out stars when i do movie ratings.
escape plan is another non-80s 80s movie that is made up of many of the cliches you know and love. key guy in criminal organization is secretly head of the organization. uncrackable prison is actually crackable. hero has devoted life to making prisons safe because an unsafe prison killed his family. prisoners overcome diversity by banding together against the man. you can make a sextant out of an ink pen, spectacles, and stiff paper. friends are enemies and enemies are friends. sadistic prison guard is sadistic. war is freedom and freedom is justice. it is all there.
escape plan gets three five-star ratings.
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