http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2431286
i am pretty sure that my new thing is going to be to quash all debate by yelling "DID YOU TAKE YOUR KNICKERS DOWN???!?" i got that from the first five minutes of philomena. the rest of it was the predictable voyage of discovery where everybody learns something. i know i learned something. mamas, don't let your babies get sold by nuns to usians.
philomena gets one all-expenses-paid trip to murica.
2014-02-28
nebraska
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1821549
i have not seen such a great performance out of will forte since the punching people while they are eating skit.
nebraska is exactly the movie you thought it would be, a mournful elegy for times past. will forte's ever-smirking mug was completely out of place at all points. but at least you could kind of tell that he was trying not to smirk. i know how it goes. "could you not smirk, please?" "what? i am not smirking." "um, ok...well could you not do that thing with your mouth?" "what thing?" "the thing that looks like smirking?" talk about a page from my life.
nebraska gets two long, flat stretches of road.
i have not seen such a great performance out of will forte since the punching people while they are eating skit.
nebraska is exactly the movie you thought it would be, a mournful elegy for times past. will forte's ever-smirking mug was completely out of place at all points. but at least you could kind of tell that he was trying not to smirk. i know how it goes. "could you not smirk, please?" "what? i am not smirking." "um, ok...well could you not do that thing with your mouth?" "what thing?" "the thing that looks like smirking?" talk about a page from my life.
nebraska gets two long, flat stretches of road.
2014-02-21
the last stand
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1549920
i am really glad that schwarzenegger is making movies again. i am even more glad that he is making *80s* movies again. the last stand has holes a-plenty, but who cares. dirty cop cliche? super fast car? bad guys magically know where all the roadblocks will be? eh. i cannot get too upset about these trivialities because we all know that the point of this movie is to be a metaphor for schwarzenegger's career. i am not too good at the metaphors, but i will take a crack at explaining it. in this metaphor, schwarzenegger represents...arnold schwarzenegger. the bad guy represents...um...adversity. lessee, there was a girl, she must be fate, which makes the reformed deputy guy kratos. forest whittaker represents poseidon, while the car guy is hades. i am not sure who zeus is. this metaphor business is pretty tiring.
the last stand gets three career refreshes.
i am really glad that schwarzenegger is making movies again. i am even more glad that he is making *80s* movies again. the last stand has holes a-plenty, but who cares. dirty cop cliche? super fast car? bad guys magically know where all the roadblocks will be? eh. i cannot get too upset about these trivialities because we all know that the point of this movie is to be a metaphor for schwarzenegger's career. i am not too good at the metaphors, but i will take a crack at explaining it. in this metaphor, schwarzenegger represents...arnold schwarzenegger. the bad guy represents...um...adversity. lessee, there was a girl, she must be fate, which makes the reformed deputy guy kratos. forest whittaker represents poseidon, while the car guy is hades. i am not sure who zeus is. this metaphor business is pretty tiring.
the last stand gets three career refreshes.
2014-02-20
the forger
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1368858
the forger is a movie where peeta attempts to cash in on his association with the hunger games movie. i have heard that every actor has to do some really bad movies before they can move on to doing good movies. i figure that is probably true, so i am going to go easy on him. for example, i will refrain from complaining about the poor dialogue, pacing, plot, acting, timing, and chemistry. i will also not make too big of a deal out of the number of holes i put in the wall with my head while trying to beat myself unconscious as this lumbering beast of a movie plodded its way towards its improbable and inevitable conclusion.
also, pro tip: if you are going to make a forgery and you want it to stand up to testing by the anti-forgery police, try running the tests yourself ahead of time. also consider not making the anti-forgery testing part of your auction process.
the forger gets one forgery.
the forger is a movie where peeta attempts to cash in on his association with the hunger games movie. i have heard that every actor has to do some really bad movies before they can move on to doing good movies. i figure that is probably true, so i am going to go easy on him. for example, i will refrain from complaining about the poor dialogue, pacing, plot, acting, timing, and chemistry. i will also not make too big of a deal out of the number of holes i put in the wall with my head while trying to beat myself unconscious as this lumbering beast of a movie plodded its way towards its improbable and inevitable conclusion.
also, pro tip: if you are going to make a forgery and you want it to stand up to testing by the anti-forgery police, try running the tests yourself ahead of time. also consider not making the anti-forgery testing part of your auction process.
the forger gets one forgery.
sudden death
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114576
i am working on clearing my backlog of bad action movies. i have missed a lot of the jcvd ones...including jcvd. so that is how i ended up watching this particular bad action movie.
sudden death was pretty bad, but that was to be expected. see previous paragraph. what was unforgivable was how *lame* it was. jcvd plays an ex-firefighter whose primary superpower is knowing some things about bombs. he is not credible as a fight scene powerhouse, and indeed, they do not portray him as such. however, because he just kind of bobbles along getting beat up, the film is not much fun to watch. the most entertaining part was watching powers boothe overcome the secret service's security and laughing at how unlikely it is that the secret service would actually be so dumb.
sudden death gets one puck to the face.
i am working on clearing my backlog of bad action movies. i have missed a lot of the jcvd ones...including jcvd. so that is how i ended up watching this particular bad action movie.
sudden death was pretty bad, but that was to be expected. see previous paragraph. what was unforgivable was how *lame* it was. jcvd plays an ex-firefighter whose primary superpower is knowing some things about bombs. he is not credible as a fight scene powerhouse, and indeed, they do not portray him as such. however, because he just kind of bobbles along getting beat up, the film is not much fun to watch. the most entertaining part was watching powers boothe overcome the secret service's security and laughing at how unlikely it is that the secret service would actually be so dumb.
sudden death gets one puck to the face.
the lego movie
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1490017
i kind of expected the lego movie to be one big long product placement. it was, of course, but at least it was not over-done. they even had a moral that i could get behind. the most amazing part, however, is that they apparently made and animated a giant will ferrel lego doll. fabulous.
the lego movie gets three part number 85959s.
i kind of expected the lego movie to be one big long product placement. it was, of course, but at least it was not over-done. they even had a moral that i could get behind. the most amazing part, however, is that they apparently made and animated a giant will ferrel lego doll. fabulous.
the lego movie gets three part number 85959s.
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