sucker punch

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0978764/

xmas move marathon part 4

the sole redeeming value of sucker punch was the beautiful graphics in the first of the tarted-up dream sequences.  the one with the giant samurai things.  the rest of it was dross.  i guess this movie was trying to survive by featuring slow motion action sequences with hot girls, but they kept distracting from that aspect with the terrible story and awful acting.  they should have picked one direction and gone with it whole-heartedly.  either a proper movie with story and acting, or porn.

i give it one unexpected blow to the gut, so there is no bruising.

the usual suspects

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114814/

xmas movie marathon part 3

i have seen the usual suspects many times, and even though i know all the twists, i remain entertained.  this is the movie that sold me on kevin spacey, gabriel byrne, all of the baldwin brothers, benicio del toro, that one short dumpy guy, chazz palminteri, and basically everybody else in the cast and crew.  i give it five suspects, of the usual variety.

the adjustment bureau

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1385826/

xmas movie marathon part 2

the adjustment bureau was kind of a cute film.  i still do not understand if that one guy was in charge and just slumming it for the whole movie or what, but it is a minor point when compared to the resolution, which basically boiled down to asking god for mercy.  apparently, the key to having that wish be granted is for one's love to be true and for you to have in your possession a magic hat.

anyway, the cast seemed to get along, the parts were all well-played, and it was an interesting story.  i give it three magic hats.

drive angry

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1502404/

xmas movie marathon part 1

drive angry is a nicholas cage movie, and i feel that this adequately sums up the experience.  ever since he was in "the rock," he has been trying to remake the feeling of that film with himself in the role of sean connery.  it is not really working.  i feel that someone with whom he shares a mutually trustful relationship should sit down with him for a heart-to-heart.  "nick, baby...you are not sean connery.  now go make more like adaptation."

captain america

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0458339/

i will watch almost anything with chris evans in it. i first saw him as jake wyler in not another teen movie, which was a great movie until i told my parents about it and they watched it. i also like him in push, but that might have been because of my complete lack of expectations for the film, coupled with my love of superpowers. he is just as watchable in captain america, a film which really has nothing going for it other than chris evans. i figured that would be the case, but i watched it anyway because i saw that captain america is supposed to be in the avengers movie and i know pretty much nothing about captain america.

here is what i learned: captain america is big and strong and has an interesting (not cool or exciting, just interesting) shield. something about absorbing vibrations? not sure i understood that. bullets hitting it still seemed to cause it to make sound, and energy bolts thrown at it made him go flying. also? if you were trying to shoot captain america, and you saw that he had a shield, why would you keep aiming at the shield? go for the legs, for chrissakes. also also? if you have awesome rifle things that disintegrate the guys you are shooting at, maybe think about passing those out to your faceless minions instead of giving them regular rifles.