stranger than fiction

will ferrell played a serious character and did not suck. weirder things have happened, i guess.

a river runs through it

/me has robert redford's children.

memoirs of a geisha

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0397535/

this is the movie that inspired me to give up a life of crime and study to become a geisha.

i am just kidding, of course. i did not give up the life of crime.

my best friend's girl

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1046163/

predictable, but it made me laugh. i like laughing.

traitor

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0988047/

fairly predictable, though it keeps moving and the delivery is reasonably performed. not to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but the script reads like it came straight from a republican think tank.

the wackness

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1082886/

the wackness is a film about something. it has certain qualities. most of them are bad. doc brown says it has angst going for it. i think that is true, i am feeling very angsty now. actually, antsy. he turned off his laptop, so i cannot ask him if that was what he meant to say.

the key events in this movie:
- the build broke and was fixed.
- doc brown showed me an interesting website.
- i learned that there are some olympics going on, in beijing.

i used to watch the olympics. i think it was mostly because everybody else was watching it. i am not really planning to watch this one. those of you who like to watch other people run and jump should have a ball, though.

bananas are good. i like bananas. they are yellow.

anyway, this concludes my review of the whatever. i give it five mangoes. i do not like mangoes.

wanted

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0493464/

i just want to say that you should consider quenching your curiosity about this film. it was bad, so bad. very very bad. the only thing it really had going for it was the special effects, and let me tell you, they were covered throughly by the trailers. watching the matrix (the first one) would give you better special effects, better story, and better acting. yes, really. better acting.

watching "wanted" was a nearly heartbreaking experience. they had so much potential for coolness, and they squandered it all, probably with the expectation that the movie could live on coolness alone. alas, crazy driving stunts and funny-shaped bullets are not enough to make a movie good. or even watchable.

i give "wanted" two thumbs, one for each of the eyes that it made me want to gouge out. note that i am going to guide the trajectories of these thumbs with MY MIND.

the dark knight

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0468569/

i gave it 4/5 stars. it was on par with the previous one. dark knight was basically an entertaining thrill ride, but it was also too long and tried to push too many messages about morals. it was not so egregious that i am unwilling to overlook it. if you ignore the messages about morals, you are left with a pretty highly polished action flick.

in other words, if you do not think about it too much, it is pretty enjoyable. the amount of thinking i did about it in order to write this quickie review has caused me to spot internal inconsistencies and weaknesses in the character portrayals that make me downgrade it to 3/5 stars.

daisies

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060959/

another chapter in the ongoing saga "how netflix recommendations screwed me like a bitch." the only bright spots about this atrocity are 1) that it is short and 2) there is a marvelous technology called "fast forward" which you can use to make it even shorter.

conspiracy theory

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118883/

spoiler warning: mel gibson is a looney. oh wait.

an officer and a gentleman

the primary value of watching this film comes from being able to understand pop culture references. top gun was better and did not have richard gere in it.